Breaking Free From Indoctrination and Embracing Sacred Sovereignty

Spiritual liberation restores your sense of wholeness

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No one is talking about how religious indoctrination can continue to plague your life long after you’ve walked away from the church.

​In this post, we’re looking at the effects of religious indoctrination and how to recover from it.

First, let’s define indoctrination. The Cambridge Dictionary defines indoctrination as the process of repeating an idea or belief to someone until they accept it without criticism or question. It’s a subtle form of brainwashing that many children who grew up in religious households underwent to one degree or another.

​I can hear what you’re thinking. “Isn’t indoctrination kind of a strong term for religious upbringing?” Please, let me be clear. It is not my intention to ascribe any malice to parents who indoctrinate their children into their own religious beliefs because they are simply raising their children the way they were raised.

​I grew up in a high-control religion with parents who had the same experience. I was taught that what we believed was the only right way to believe. Because the adults around me spoke and behaved in a way that made me believe it was the only right way, I accepted it, as the Cambridge Dictionary describes, without criticism or question.

Everyone should be given the freedom to choose their worldview and belief systems. Parents have every right to offer religious training to their children, but it can be done is such a way that leaves the door open for them to explore the ideas and beliefs that light them up.​

My parents referred to non-believers as heathens. I never knew what that word meant, but I took it to mean that they were not good or smart people. It turns out, heathens are people who do not acknowledge the god of the Christian Bible. A known tactic of brainwashing is to “control the physical and social environment, destroy the person’s loyalties to unfavorable groups, and develop loyalty and unquestioning obedience to the ruling party,” according to Britannica.com.

​So, casting aspersions on people who were not like us was yet another way to solidify our loyalty to their belief system.

In many ways, I grew up in an ideological bubble safe from the influence of other ideas and belief systems. But it wasn’t a prison camp, and I’m pretty sure my parents did not realize that they were brainwashing their children into a belief system.

Ooops! Did I indoctrinate my own kids?

​I vowed not to indoctrinate any children I might have the way I had been growing up, but I did inadvertently, to some degree. One thing I appreciated about my household growing up was that we shared meals at the dining table. My mother was keen on teaching proper table manners and how to behave properly during meals. She made absolutely sure that we would never embarrass her with poor table manners. I carried on this same tradition with my children. I taught them to set the table, we always used cloth napkins, and we prayed before we ate.

​Recently, my youngest daughter told me that growing up, she thought that everyone prayed before they ate. She was surprised to learn that none of her friends did.

​We tend to think that the way our parents teach us to do things is the best, or the only right way. But the world is huge, and there are many ways to do things, and many different, yet equally valid belief systems. Sometimes, parents take advantage of how malleable and impressionable children are. Parents sometimes forget that our children are sovereign beings who come through us, not from us.

​A common refrain I hear from people deconstructing their faith is that they feel lost and adrift, unsure of what they believe. News Flash: You are a sovereign being. You get to believe whatever you choose to believe.

​But parents can only shield and isolate their children for so long. Eventually, they will face the wider world in all of its diversity, chaos, and bedlam. Once they leave the nest and begin interacting with the world, kids may revise their worldview to better align with their developing preferences.

​Without realizing it at the time, I raised my children in an open-minded, progressive way. If I had the chance to do it all over again, I’d establish a parenting philosophy and intentional approach with my partner for our children.

While still considering myself a Christian, I did not force it on my children. I wanted them to feel free to embrace whatever philosophy or faith resonated with them. They would come to me with questions, and I’d answer them honestly. I prayed for them, but I allowed them to be free.

​Looking back as I write this, I wonder why I stayed in Christianity for so long, given that I had so many philosophical differences with church dogma. Now I can see that I stayed because I could not even wrap my mind around leaving the church. I’m not sure that I even thought that was a thing. I wasn’t ready yet. I can see now how effective the indoctrination was because I couldn’t fathom the idea of living life as a non-Christian–a heathen, as it were.

​But I am the second-born child in my family. (Technically not a middle child because there were four of us, but I felt like the middle child.) I was always questioning everything. So many things about this world made no sense to me. Now, it’s clear that I came here to be the fulcrum point of healing and transformation for my family and the world.

Parents who are raising children

I encourage you to give some deep, thoughtful consideration to how you are raising your children. Establish a vision and a mission for your parenting approach.

• ​How intentional are you being when it comes to sharing what you believe with your children? Are you also leaving space for them to develop their own worldview? Or, are you teaching them that yours is the only right way to believe?

• ​How do you speak about other people whose beliefs differ from yours in the presence of your children?

• ​Do you expose your kids to people from other cultures and beliefs?

Fellow survivors of indoctrination

If you were indoctrinated into a high-control religion with which you no longer identify, have you forgiven your parents? The church? Yourself? Forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness, is the key to personal freedom.

​This will be complicated for those who have suffered religious trauma, which is a huge issue on its own. If you have religious trauma in your background, I always recommend that you work with a licensed mental health professional to work through it. It can also be helpful to work with a faith deconstruction coach like me to guide you through the most challenging parts of the process, and to be a support and sounding board.

Not addressing religious trauma is not an option. The pain you try to bury will resurface at the most inopportune moment.

Coming out the other side

Awareness is curative. Facing the fact that you have been indoctrinated is the first step to deprogramming yourself from its insidious effects.

It’s an amazing feeling to finally let go of a belief system that no longer serves you and to pursue the path of spiritual liberation.

Spiritual liberation is about living a life of mental, emotional, and spiritual freedom, on your own terms. You are walking away free from the dogma and doctrine of religion, free to chart a path of your own choosing as the sovereign being you are.

​Some of the ways you can deprogram your mind and heart from religious indoctrination include:

• ​Moving through an intentional faith deconstruction process where you decide what you do and do not believe.

• Working with a therapist

• Working with a faith deconstruction coach

• Adopting supportive spiritual practices like meditation, affirmative prayer, and breathwork

• Surrounding yourself with a supportive, like-minded community

• Working on developing self-trust and self-love

• Learning to set and hold personal boundaries

• Focusing on accepting yourself and releasing the need for external validation

• Exploring new ways to embrace more joy in your life

​Remember, in the same way you were indoctrinated against your will, you can saturate your heart and mind with the ideas, views, and beliefs of your own choosing. You get to chart your course and immerse yourself in love, compassion, and freedom.

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